Supernatural Hoarders
Any vintage dealer will tell you that part of the reason they work in this business is because each item has a story; a history that's passed down from owner to owner, giving items we sell and keep for ourselves a "soul"—something that just isn't found at a Room & Board. That said, have you ever gone to a garage or estate sale and wondered, "Was anyone ever murdered with these candlesticks I'm about to buy?"
No? Oh, well I do it all the time. And apparently I'm not the only one since cursed and haunted objects is the central plot point behind the highly underrated 80s series, Friday the 13th.
The show has absolutely zero to do with the movie franchise of the same name, but instead focuses on long lost cousins Ryan Dallion and Micki Foster (played by John D. LeMay and Canadian pop flash-in-the-pan, Robey) who inherit their uncle's antiques shop. Story goes that dearly departed uncle Lewis made a pact with the devil years before, and as part of the agreement had to sell cursed antiques to unsuspecting shoppers who then went forward to wreak havoc.
Ryan and Mickey don't so much sell antiques out of their storefront, as they go on hour-long adventures attempting to get back the cursed items sold by Uncle Lewis over the years. Call them supernatural hoarders.
At the haunted Curious Goods shop they carry cursed vintage brooches...
cameras...
comic books...
compacts...
quilts...
and mean-looking Elizabeth Taylor devil-dolls.
Some of the more unique plots involve a poorly articulated cupid statue that can shoot laser beams across a room to make you fall in love with creeps...
an evil lamp that can set you on fire...
and a vintage teacup that sucks the life out of you when you drink from it...
so that this rock star...
doesn't end up looking like this rock star.
Still, the quintessential Friday the 13th episode has to be a tale of teenage lust and an aforementioned cosmetic compact gone awry called, Vanity's Mirror.
At the beginning of the episode a homeless woman is in possession of the compact—which allows the owner to shine it in someone's face ensuring they fall in love—until she gets run over by a car after having used the mirror to kill a man.
Lucky for us, homely Canadian teenager, Helen (played by Ingrid Veninger) just happens by and picks up the now cracked vintage compact for herself.
Helen's an awkward girl, who's just trying her best.
But sometimes your best isn't good enough.
So you have to seduce a few boys with your new cursed toy.
Then off them before things start to get too awkward.
Life isn't made any easier for Helen by her über-popular and beautiful sister, Joanne.
No mind though. Helen's demon vintage compact helps her seduce Joanne's boyfriend, promising that Helen and beau show up to prom in style...
until Helen and seduced boyfriend go out in a blaze of glory off the auditorium roof, vintage compact in tow.
There is a second part to the Vanity's Mirror episode, but that doesn't come until season two, which I have yet rewatch in all its glory. But if you're in for a good scare—okay, maybe not scare—but a nice and cheesy 80s series that is ostensibly about the supernatural dangers of the vintage business, check out Friday the 13th this Halloween.
And if you're busy tonight, watch it some other time if for no other reason than to see the many styles and faces of Robey:
